443: Set Guilt Free Boundaries And Quit Saying Yes To Everything A Podcast For Accountants And High-Stress Professionals
443: Set Guilt Free Boundaries And Quit Saying Yes To Everything A Podcast For Accountants And High-Stress Professionals
Something I see over and over again with accountants, CPAs, bookkeepers, tax preparers, business owners, and other high-stress professionals is that they are always saying yes. Yes to another client request. Yes to another deadline. Yes to helping someone on your team. Yes to answering the email right away. Yes to taking care of something that really isn't yours to take care of. Yes to one more responsibility. Yes to your family. Yes to your friends. Yes to everyone who needs something from you. And sometimes, you say yes so often that you don't even realize you're doing it. You just keep saying yes. And then you look at your calendar and wonder, How did I get so busy? Let’s dive in…
Whether you’re an accountant, CPA, bookkeeper, tax preparer, business owner, or other high-stress professional, this episode will give you practical ideas you can use to think more clearly, respond more intentionally, and get more out of life.
FREE RESOURCE
Feeling The Pressure? Start here.
Get the free 10-Minute Pressure Reset. A practical resource to help you pause, identify what’s creating the pressure, shift your perspective, and choose your next best step. Get the free 10-Minute Pressure Reset here:
LOOKING FOR MORE SUPPORT?
If you’re ready to stop simply managing the pressure and start leading yourself through it, learn more about The RE*INVENTION™ Process Private Coaching Program here:
MORE FROM THIS EPISODE
SHOW NOTES:
Something I see over and over again with accountants, CPAs, bookkeepers, tax preparers, business owners, and other high-stress professionals is that they are always saying yes. Yes to another client request. Yes to another deadline. Yes to helping someone on your team. Yes to answering the email right away. Yes to taking care of something that really isn't yours to take care of. Yes to one more responsibility. Yes to your family. Yes to your friends. Yes to everyone who needs something from you. And sometimes, you say yes so often that you don't even realize you're doing it. You just keep saying yes. And then you look at your calendar and wonder, How did I get so busy? Let’s dive in…
Welcome Back…Today, I want to talk about something that can create a tremendous amount of pressure in your life. And it's something I see over and over again with high-performing professionals. It's saying yes. Maybe you've experienced this type of scenario. Someone asks you to do something. Your first thought is, Sure. I can do that. But then you look at everything else you already have going on. And you realize you don't actually have the time. You don't really want to do it. You know it's going to create more pressure. But now you've already said yes. So you figure it out. You squeeze it in. You work later. You give up something else. Maybe you skip lunch. Maybe you take work home. Maybe you cancel plans. Maybe you tell yourself you'll catch up on the weekend. And eventually, you're frustrated. You're tired. You're resentful. And you're wondering why everyone seems to expect so much from you. But here's something I want you to consider. Sometimes the pressure isn't only coming from what other people are asking of you. Sometimes the pressure is coming from what you're telling yourself about what you have to say yes to. And that's what I want to explore today. Because boundaries aren't just about telling other people no. Boundaries start with how you lead yourself.
Let's take a very common example. It's busy season. You're already behind. You've got tax returns to finish. You've got clients emailing you. You've got staff questions. You've got meetings. You've got administrative work. You've got things at home that need your attention. And then a client sends you an email that says, Can you just take a quick look at this? You know what happens next. You think something like, It'll only take five minutes. So you stop what you're doing. You look at it. But it isn't actually five minutes. Now you're digging through information. You're answering questions. You're trying to figure something out. Twenty minutes becomes forty-five minutes. And now the work you were already doing is pushed back. You feel behind. And then you think, I have so much to do. And now you're even more stressed. Does this sound familiar? But I want you to know that the request wasn't necessarily the problem. The problem was that you didn't pause long enough to decide whether saying yes was actually the right choice. You reacted. And this is one of the biggest differences between reacting under pressure and leading yourself under pressure. Reacting looks like, they need something, so I need to do it. But leading yourself looks more like, they need something. Let me decide what I want to do about it. That's a very different way of operating.
Now, I want to be very clear about something. I'm not saying you should stop helping people. I'm not saying you should ignore clients. I'm not saying you should never work late during tax season. And I'm definitely not saying every request is unreasonable. Sometimes you really do need to say yes. The point is that you want your yes to be a choice and not an automatic reaction. Because when every request automatically gets a yes, you eventually lose control of your own time. And when you lose control of your time, it's very easy to feel like you have no control over your life. That's when you start saying things like: "I don't have time for myself." "I can't take a break." "I can't make plans." "I can't exercise." "I can't do anything until busy season is over." "I'll take care of myself later." And maybe you've been saying that for years. Busy season ends. You think you'll have more time. Then something else happens. There’s a new deadline. A new client. A new responsibility. A new problem. And once again, your life gets pushed to the side. This is exactly why I don't want you to think about boundaries as simply learning how to say no. I want you to think about boundaries as learning how to make intentional decisions about what gets your time, energy, attention, and effort.
So let's bring this into The RE*INVENTION™ Process. The first step is THINK. Before you respond to a request, pause and notice what you're thinking. Maybe the thought is, "I don't want to disappoint them." Maybe it's something more like, "They'll be upset if I say no." "They'll think I'm not helpful." "I'm the only person who can do this." "It's easier just to do it myself." "I should be able to handle this." "It's my responsibility." Or maybe you’re thinking, "If I don't do it, everything will fall apart." These thoughts can feel like facts. But they're thoughts. And your thoughts influence how you feel. Your feelings influence what you do. And what you do creates your results. So if you're constantly thinking, "I have to do this." You're probably going to feel pressure. And when you feel pressure, you're more likely to react quickly. You say yes. You take on more. You work longer. You put your own needs last. And then you get the result you don't want. More overwhelm. Less time. Less energy. More resentment. Less enjoyment of your life. That's why the THINK step in The RE*INVENTION™ Process matters so much. You have to slow down long enough to notice what is happening in your mind.
Then comes RESPOND. This is where you ask yourself, "How do I want to respond to this?" Not, "What will make everyone else happy?" "How can I get this off my plate as quickly as possible?" "What am I supposed to do?" But instead, "How do I want to respond?" Maybe your answer is saying yes. That's fine. But maybe your answer is more like, "I can't get to that today, but I can look at it tomorrow." Maybe it's, "I can help with part of this, but I can't take on the whole thing." Or, "That's not something I can take on right now." Or even, "Let me look at my priorities and get back to you." That last one can be incredibly powerful. Because you don't have to answer every request immediately. You are allowed to pause before you respond. Especially when you're under pressure. In fact, that pause may be one of the most important leadership tools you have.
And then we get to the LIVE part of The RE*INVENTION™ Process. Because ultimately, this isn't just about getting better at saying no. It's about what kind of life you are creating with your choices. Think about that for a minute. If you continue saying yes to everything, what does your life look like? If every client request gets immediate attention, every problem becomes your problem, every email gets answered right away, everyone else's needs come before yours, and you continually give away your evenings and weekends, what kind of life are those choices creating for you? I'm not asking that question to make you feel guilty. I'm asking because your life is shaped by the decisions you make every day. And sometimes the decision isn't a huge, life-changing one. Sometimes it's simply telling yourself, "I'm not going to answer that email right now." Or, "I'm going to finish the thing I'm working on before I switch tasks." Or, "I'm going to leave work at a reasonable time tonight." Or, even, "I'm going to keep the commitment I made to myself." Those decisions matter. Because every time you make an intentional decision instead of automatically reacting, you're practicing self-leadership.
Now, I want to give you a very simple exercise you can use today. The next time someone asks you to do something, and you feel that immediate pressure to say yes, don't answer right away. I want you to pause. Take one breath. And ask yourself three questions. Question number one: What am I thinking? What is the story you are telling yourself? Is it, "I have to do this." "They'll be disappointed." Or, "I should be able to handle it." Just notice the thought. You don't have to fix it. Next, question number two. What actually matters most right now? Look at your current priorities. What deserves your time and attention? And remember, something can be important without needing to happen right now. Lastly, question number three is, How do I want to respond? Not what would be easiest. Not what would avoid discomfort. Not what would make everyone else happy. How do I want to lead myself through this? Your answer may still be yes. And that's okay. But now it's an intentional yes. And sometimes, your answer will be no. Or not now. Or not me. Or here's what I can do. And that's okay too.
Here's another thing I want you to remember. Saying no doesn't make you a bad person. Setting a boundary doesn't mean you don't care. Taking care of your own time doesn't mean you're selfish. And choosing not to take on one more responsibility doesn't mean you're not capable. Sometimes, because you're good at what you do, people keep giving you more. You're reliable. You're responsible. You get things done. People know they can count on you. Those are wonderful qualities. But being dependable doesn't mean being available for everything. And being successful doesn't mean you have to prove your value by how much you can do for everyone else. You don't have to earn your rest. You don't have to earn time with your family. You don't have to earn enjoyment. And you don't have to wait until you've completed every task on your list before you're allowed to live your life. There will probably always be another email. Another deadline. Another client request. Another problem to solve. The question is, How do you want to live while you're handling all of it? That's the real work of leading yourself under pressure.
So here's what I'd like you to take away from today's episode. You don't have to say yes to everything. You don't have to answer every request immediately. You don't have to take responsibility for every problem. And you don't have to sacrifice your entire life in order to be successful at your work. You can pause. You can think. You can decide. You can respond intentionally. And you can choose what gets your time, your energy, and your attention. That's what’s behind THINK, RESPOND, and LIVE. Think differently about what's happening. Respond intentionally instead of automatically. And live in a way that reflects what matters to you. Because that's what The RE*INVENTION™ Process is really about. It's not about creating a perfect life. It's not about eliminating pressure. And it's not about walking away from the career you've worked so hard to build. It's about learning how to lead yourself through the pressure so you can get more out of your life.
Before you go, I want to give you one small challenge. Think of one thing you've recently said yes to that you didn't really want to say yes to. Maybe it was at work. Maybe it was at home. Maybe it was something completely different. And ask yourself, "If I had paused before answering, what might I have chosen to say instead?" You don't have to go back and change the past. Just use it as information. Because awareness is where change begins. And the next time the opportunity comes up, you'll have another choice. You can pause. You can THINK. You can RESPOND. And you can choose how you want to LIVE. You don't have to say yes to everything. You don't have to do everything right now. And you don't have to put your life on hold while you're building your career. You get to decide how you want to lead yourself through the pressure.
Comments